Change the way you look at strangers with Kidpower “Stranger Safety” strategies

It is time that we turn our old notions about “Stranger Danger” upside down. My second post is up on the TODAYMoms blog and I was honored to be able to share Kidpower strategies about Stranger Safety.

Read my complete TODAY Moms post, Beyond ‘stranger danger’: Real safety rules for kids

I am thrilled to be able to spread the word about Kidpower through our new book Courageous Parents, Confident Kids, featuring a chapter by Kidpower Executive Director Irene van der Zande. Kidpower personal safety training is revolutionary because it gives parents and kids new tools that will help all of us explore the world with enhanced safety and confidence. I don’t blame parents for getting stuck on “Stranger Danger”–it’s what many of us were taught as kids, even though it’s not an accurate or helpful concept. But thanks to Kidpower’s work over the past twenty years developing an excellent safety curriculum, now we have much better resources available to us. Irene has a wonderfully ambitious goal of sharing this information with everybody in the world and I am doing my part to help!
You can learn a lot more about Kidpower training and access many useful resources at the international organization’s website at www.Kidpower.org

As Irene and I were working on our TODAYMoms blog post, at the same time the latest news about the Catholic Church’s abuse scandal was unfolding at a rapid rate. It seems like the time has finally arrived to talk about abuse committed by people we know within organizations we trust. Irene and I are working on an outreach to address this very difficult but extremely important issue, and we are starting with the basic strategies and articles posted blow. The revelations of abuse and the mishandling or cover-up of abuse reports are very disturbing, but it’s important not to single out any one organization in a way that could lead us to ignore the issue in the many organizations we are part of. Organizations may be in denial about abuse for a number of reasons, even well-meaning groups who might just think “we are a close community–this could never happen here.” We as organization members and leaders have to be willing to be aware of potential abuse and speak up when necessary, no matter how uncomfortable that may be. The truth is this is an issue that every parent needs to become educated about and learn how to teach personal safety skills to every child.

This can be an intense and lengthy conversation, but to get us started, Irene shares the following strategies and Kidpower resources:

To keep young people safe from harm by making it hard for anyone in a position of trust and power to abuse this authority, everyone needs to know–

1) What is safe behavior and what is not.

This needs to be clearly defined. See article on Touch in Healthy Relationships

2) That sometimes important people have problems that cause them to do things that are unsafe. See article on Sometimes the People Kids Love Have Problems

3) That unsafe behavior, especially by an adult in charge, should NEVER have to be a secret. See article on What Kinds of Secrets are Okay to Keep and What Are Not

4) That it is NEVER the child’s fault if an adult does something unsafe.

5) How to speak up and stop unsafe behavior.

6) How to be persistent in getting the help you need.

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These articles provide an important start, and as a trained Kidpower instructor myself, I highly recommend taking a Kidpower workshop if you can. Kidpower training is positive, success-based (not fear-based), interactive, and effective. Irene says of the workshops, “Kidpower has found in our research that people under stress tend to do what they’ve practiced rather than what they’ve been told. This is why we have children practice making wise choices in a wide variety of situations—from de-escalating confrontations with bullies, to being aware enough to leave a situation before trouble ever starts, to getting away and running for help if necessary.” Personally, I will add that a great thing about Kidpower skills is that find myself and my family using the training all the time in everyday life, especially being aware of our surroundings and what is going on. I also appreciate boundary setting skills, which often comes up with people we know in everyday life. Even as parents it is good role-modeling to show our kids that we can set boundaries with them, as we teach them to set boundaries with other people.

The Kidpower website can help you find a Kidpower center near you. And don’t forget to sign up now on MojoMom.com to receive the free digital download of our new book, Courageous Parents, Confident Kids when it is released on April 19th.

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