My Mojo…recharging and redirecting soon–I hope!
I think this is the longest I’ve ever gone between blog posts and that doesn’t feel good! But this month I have been gobsmacked by family responsibilities. And it’s not motherhood! It’s being a caregiving daughter for my parents. I am living out one of the things I have been saying to Moms for years now: you need to find a way to make caregiving sustainable, so that it does not burn you out until you are just an empty shell. Because eldercare can be even more challenging at times that having a baby. It comes out of the blue, it’s more of a crisis and less joyful, it can be very sad, it’s a complicated maze of health care, logistics, and finances.
Right now I am trying to remember to be THANKFUL for all that is going well, and to be honest, I feel overwhelmed by what’s not going well, and all the work ahead of me. I am spending the next two weeks downsizing my father’s house in preparation for his next move. This involves catching up on tasks and decisions that should have been taken care of three to forty years ago. So it’s daunting, and it’s on my plate. But at least we still have a chance to catch up now and help my Dad move forward in a better place.
I have to go into family mode but I have already found that even though I have less time to work right now, it is important to keep my writing and professional career going in any way I can. On the one hand I have to be realistic about the fact that until we get Dad moved and settled in, I will have little time and energy for anything else. But on the other hand I have realized that totally squelching the creative part of my life would just make things a lot more depressing. So let’s just say I am in the hive right now, so even if you don’t see me or hear from me as much this summer, I am working behind the scenes to recharge, redirect and relaunch my mojo as soon as I can. You should see the results by the time school starts, and I’ll keep writing as much as I can this summer.
Know that when I write about these issues, it is not an academic exercise, it’s my life, too.
Dear Dr Tiemann,
I just heard an interview with you on NPR and found out about your book. I am eagar to buy it for two pregnant friends although my own kids and grandkids are past the mark. Somehow, I am always reading about better ways to parent than I knew of 40+ years ago. So glad you wrote the book.
I just finished caring for my mother, emptying her house and so on…a daunting task for any amount of time and I love the idea that you brought in organizers. Certainly is the time for it. Suggestion: (and this is only if you or your dad have the unreasonable desire to “place things” so that they will be used)..call in a bevy of art teachers and wood workers as they will see value in strange, unplaceable things or tools.
Asking for help is something that was/is hard for me,..just a lifetime habit of watching those pennies and a do it yourself attitude (carried to extremes perhaps).
Eagar to read your book as it would have been timely back when as babies still require the same sorts of care today, regardless of generational experiences. It starts with mother verses baby and achieving the best balance, learning the dance steps yourself so you can teach other family members. It also helps if you can learn dances repeated through the generations…providing they are acceptable! Sustainablity was that part of the formula that I failed to factor in…so important.
Good luck with your dad and future books.
Hannah
Amy – many of us who have been there, can totally relate. My best advice is to do what you can to help your dad, and later on, you’ll take comfort in knowing how much you helped him. Having cleaned out a house that had 35 YEARS worth of un-purged, accumulated stuff, I know what a daunting task you are facing. Try to take it one step at a time, help your dad, and try to find small ways to enjoy the time with your dad—and a few moments here and there for a little break for yourself. It’s a monumental (and emotional) task to downsize that many years’ worth of stuff in two weeks—best of luck and know that you are not alone!
Chris, thanks for your support–it really means a lot right now. I found that the best thing I could do to take care of myself at this moment was to have the organizers come to my house for one day in the middle of Dad’s downsizing. It’s creating a “landing pad” for the things I will have to store here, but even beyond that it is giving me a more peaceful and functional space to work in myself.
Amy