Planting seeds on my first real day of summer
I have “finished” my Dad’s move and today finally feels like the first day of summer that I have been dreaming about for so long. I dropped my daughter off at camp this morning and I didn’t have to drive to all the way to Raleigh to pack or clean. Instead I could feel the gentle moment of early morning, quiet, warm and humid, but not a blast furnace quite yet. (I put “finished” in quotes because I still have to gradually assimilate many belongings into my house, but I don’t want to think about that too much right now. I will focus on the contentment that Dad is settled in to his new place!)
So what’s next? The part of the summer I have been waiting for: I am going to give myself the gift of three weeks off to recharge my batteries. Some time will be spent writing or thinking about writing, much time with family, and my overall focus will be on getting a lot of exercise during the day so that I can sleep at night, and letting my mind run free for a while. I can feel the seeds of “what’s next” growing inside me but I need to give them the time to sprout in the dark soil, exploring the potential paths for sending shoots up into the light.
I have managed to just about run myself into the ground by rushing from one project to the next for the past two years now. First I pushed to get the second edition of Mojo Mom done, only slowing down slightly for an emergency appendectomy that cropped up in the middle of editing. Then last summer I jumped into Courageous Parents, Confident Kids full-steam ahead, wanting to see if we could get a new book out in a year (we did!). I thought I had given myself enough of a break last year, but now I can see that I did not. Coming to a full stop might have been more uncomfortable than I had imagined. I felt restless, with much urgency to plow forward once again. An addiction to adrenaline and busyness? Probably!
So I want to try something different this year, and we’ll see how I feel after three weeks off. If I want to write and blog, I will, but I just can’t predict how that muse will arise. So if I am not here for a while, or if I just put up really short blog posts, don’t worry, I will be back.
As I was thinking about all this, my Courageous Parents, Confident Kids contributor Maya Frost’s latest newsletter popped into my inbox. Her piece Why I Stopped Blogging About Education really speaks to me–having the courage to move onto the next phase of your life, even if your expertise is in full bloom in a different area. What I like most about what Maya says is that she is moving on because she has written the book on Bold School Global Education, and that resource is still out there for anyone to use. Perhaps what is holding others back from trying her ideas it is not more information from Maya, but their own fear of trying something new.
I am not trying to make too much of a literal connection between what Maya is saying and Mojo Mom, but it reminds me that as my life and career evolve, I need to have the courage to stretch my comfort zone to pursue interests that take me in new directions. I think that as women, we can be prepared to expect lifelong reinvention, again and again, if we are lucky!
I have wonderful seeds sprouting in my secret garden of the mind, so stay tuned….
Amy — I’m with you… just turned 40 and my kids don’t quite need me in the ways they did before. I think it is interesting to consider how to stay political about motherhood and help care for younger mother’s without co-opting their experiences… I guess it goes back to core community organizing. Anyway, I love your voice and hope it stays public and political!
Amy,
I am was so touched and thrilled to read this post. Yes, not only is it possible for us to move on, it is essential. As mothers, this is something we learn from watching our children grow and change and ultimately, from experiencing their launch into rich, full lives of their own. Every day, we model for our children what is most important to us, and slowing down, rethinking, playing and resting are absolutely critical for our families and our own development.
It’s easy to get caught up in the “what next?” busyness and the urgency to leverage or capitalize or maximize upon what we have already built. But sometimes the smartest and most fulfilling thing we can do is to step back and see that we have already planted some powerful seeds, and they are growing in their own way and delighting people we will never know without much nurturing from us–much like grown children. We still get enormous satisfaction and joy from what has been sown in the past, but our energy is not needed in the same way. From that, we find strength to move forward, to plant new seeds and to see what sprouts in exciting and surprising ways.
Happy planting to you, dear Amy! I look forward to hearing about what emerges.
Love,
Maya
I can’t tell you how synchronistic your blog post was, at least the newsletter delivering it to me this morning. I felt the ripples connecting Chapel Hill and Uruguay! I had just been talking with a friend about the fact that I need to move forward in my interests. A lot of it has to do with my daughter growing up–I am growing, too. I think my readers will like where I am headed next. I have thought a lot about it but am not ready to share quite yet. The next three weeks are about nurturing that dream before anyone even knows about it. That is a tender and precious time!
Maya, thank you for being courageous about your own development because your words gave me a boost at an important time.