Doing Right by Our Kids–empowering parents to be child safety and abuse prevention advocates
It has taken me a few weeks to get my feet on the ground in the New Year, but I am excited about 2012. I an writing a new book with Kidpower co-founder Irene van der Zande, Doing Right by Our Kids: Protecting Child Safety at All Levels of Society. I have been doing much of my blogging over at www.DoingRightByOurKids.com and I encourage you to follow my evolving work there, as Irene and I craft a new book and involve readers in the process. We just can’t wait to start sharing key skills and information with you, so online outreach will pave the way for the book.
Irene and I have been committed to the core idea of “Protecting Child Safety at All Levels of Society” from the inception of this project, but it was a bit hard to explain until the Penn State abuse scandal broke last fall. Now people understand why parents need to know what to do to prevent abuse AND that schools, faith communities, sports teams, and all child-serving organizations need to be actively involved as well. Secrecy and silence is so much a part of the cultural umbrella that allows abuse to happen that I have truly come to believe that if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. Doing Right by Our Kids will give you many tools to be part of the solution and to gather allies to create grassroots pressure “up” the ladder of command when you need organizations to be more aware and involved. We empower kids as well, drawing on the skills that Kidpower has already taught to over two million people worldwide, and beyond that, the new book will emphasize the organizational change and cultural change that is needed to allow children to truly move with safety and confidence through society.
One thing I really love about Kidpower is that it is so positive. I don’t think I could spend years of my life just fighting against a negative. Working as a Kidpower instructor allows me to fight against abuse while teaching kids safety skills in a positive, effective, realistic way that operates through success rather than fear. I highly recommend Kidpower workshops for EVERYONE. However, this year I am stepping back from my own role of teaching workshops in order to write the news book and create other resources that can reach hundreds and thousands of people at once, rather than 10-20 people at a time. Our book project is evolving at a good time, as Kidpower has launched the One Million Safer Kids Campaign, which DoingRightByOurKids.com is participating in as an official partner.
Since last July, the campaign has already reached over 155,000 children!
So keep your eyes on MojoMom.com for news and updates related to all of my work–I will be doing a renovation to the website for 2012 to bring all my writing and teaching interests into one site. And in the meantime, I hope you will check out what we are offering through DoingRightByOurKids.com and all the resources offered by Kidpower’s One Million Safer Kids campaign.
What do Mom bloggers do when their kids grow up?
That magical end-of-summer day has arrived for us–the first day of school. As Mojo Girl starts Middle School, this week feels almost as much like graduation as it does a new beginning (I guess that is why they also call it Commencement). I am relieved, happy, and yes, feeling bittersweet as I see my daughter growing up so quickly. The last two years feel like a time-lapse movie of development stuck on fast-forward. The other day my family was at a store together and as I caught a glimpse of Mojo Girl across the room, it took me a moment to pick her out among the crowd of adults. She’s that much more grown up all of a sudden. When we talk about seeing “eye to eye,” it’s almost true on a literal level now!
So all this brings up a question that has been on my mind all summer, “What do motherhood bloggers do when their kids grow up?” In many ways I feel ready to declare my own personal graduation from motherhood blogging. I don’t see this as better or worse, but just honestly the next step in where I am right now in own my life. It is impossible to hold on to the early years of motherhood forever, and I don’t want to try. I feel like I have been at this for quite a long time, writing about motherhood for the past eight years, and now it’s time for the next generation of Moms to start looking at the same issues though their own unique lenses.
Back when I came up with the idea for Mojo Mom, my daughter had started three-year old preschool, and blogging hadn’t even been widely adopted yet. When I started my website I posted “occasional articles” that had to be uploaded by my website developer. I embraced Blogger as a writing platform as soon as I learned about it, and my first Mojo Mom blog post was September 13, 2003.
As one of the early motherhood bloggers on the scene myself, I have had the chance to know and follow many talented writers, wondering and watching to see what my fellow bloggers do as their kids grow up. Two of my favorite writers, Karen Maezen Miller and Joanne Bamberger, have daughters about the same age as mine, and I can see them evolving and moving forward too. Karen’s first book was Momma Zen, and her new book is a Zen memoir Hand Wash Cold: Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life, which addresses her parenting life but is not focused on it. Her author website has also progressed from a Momma Zen “Cheerio Road” focus, to a more holistic KarenMaezenMiller.com.
Joanne Bamberger blogs as PunditMom as well as writing through MOMocrats, MomsRising, Huffington Post, and Politics Daily. This year, Joanne created the new book Mothers of Intention: How Women and Social Media are Revolutionizing Politics in America. (In a nice bit of synchronicity, Joanne contributed to Courageous Parents, Confident Kids and I contributed to Mothers of Intention.) She has come such a long way since the early days years ago when I remember she wrote her Column Quest blog (amazing how 2006 feels like The Olden Days now). She had the last laugh with column quest as she blazed a trail that transcended “old media” and shaped the landscape of New Media. And she’s kept her motherhood angle but she has ramped up and reinforced the “Pundit” aspect of her writing as she has developed impressive media credentials.
So I feel my own evolution stirring as my life changes. My daughter is a lot more independent and I don’t define myself by motherhood the way I used to. My defining question in Mojo Mom was discovering “Who am I, now that I am a Mom?” and I know the answer to that now. I am a writer, an activist for social change, a media producer–someone who has many ideas and needs to channel and focus my energies to figure out how to best move forward on all the causes I care about.
I had lunch with my friend Melinda Abrams of the other day–she is a life coach and we were getting together to talk about possible future directions for her work. As we talked over possibilities and strategies, I realized that every word that was coming out of my mouth was advice I needed to act on myself as well. So interesting to see how much more clarity we can get when we look outside our own lives and into someone else’s work–I am glad that I realized that our discussion definitely reflected back onto my own life.
So two things to share out of what I learned that day: Melinda was thinking about the age-old question of “How do I chart my own work when there is so much to do in the world–and I can’t do everything?” My answer from the heart is that each of us has to figure out the work that only we can do, what won’t get done if we don’t contribute, and put our energies there and trust that the other work will be done by other people. I don’t mean outsourcing motherhood but realizing that if I make a dedicated contribution to ending violence, I can trust that other people will work on eradicating hunger, and I don’t have to feel all the weight of the world on my shoulders. I still manage to feel that way a lot of the time anyway, but that perspective helps direct me.
Second, an image came to my mind. (I feel like I am ramping up into a creative time because I have been thinking in visual metaphors lately.) I visualized life as a treasure chest that needs to be moved forward, and all my actions as horses tethered to that chest. If I align my interests close to the same direction, I will make progress forward. Distractions go out to the side as a waste of energy, and bad habits pull backward. But the main insight I needed right now is that even if my activities are all meaningful, if they pull too much in different directions, I won’t get anywhere.
That was one of those “things that make me go Hmmmm,” and the challenge I have been thinking about all summer.
What’s next? And how do I get there? With 24 hours in the day, many family responsibilities, an active and distractible mind (a blessing and a curse when you do internet research), and the work I want to get done, how do I align those priorities in a way that makes sense? The Polaroid image is starting to develop in my mind–and MojoMom.com will continue to be part of the big picture. That is my jumping off point that I will address in my next post, “The Evolution of Mojo Mom.”
Classic Mojo Mom: Work-Life Balance, Our Ladder is up the Wrong Tree
Classic Mojo Mom: Work-Life Balance, Our Ladder is up the Wrong Tree. This post was adapted for inclusion in the new book PunditMom’s Mothers of Intention: How Women & Social Media Are Revolutionizing Politics in America, and, it remains my favorite Mojo Mom blog post of all time as well as the one that has generated the most passionate responses. So I wanted to share these thoughts again with you today in full. (Originally posted on December 18, 2006)
Work-life balance: Our ladder is up the wrong tree
by Dr. Amy Tiemann, author of Mojo Mom: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family and creator of MojoMom.com
All the research I have done as Mojo Mom has led me to a conclusion that I really need to share with you. As mothers trying to have an integrated life with many facets, have set our sights set on the wrong goal. Our ladder is up the wrong tree in a major way.
I am talking about “work-life balance.” This idea is everywhere, and has become a watchword for my generation, Gen X, which has put “work-life balance” on the map as our highest ideal as we negotiate with our hard-charging Boomer bosses. Although it is usually presented as a positive ideal, “balance” is a trap. I argue that rather than being our highest goal, “balance” accurately describes our current situation that asks families to do it all…on our own. Until we change our thinking on this issue, we are going to be stuck with the same set of unappetizing work-life “choices” that we are faced with now.
Think about it. Who needs balance? Jugglers, tightrope walkers….and Moms. Picture the iconic cover of a chick-lit novel, showing a woman struggling to “balance” a briefcase, cellphone. and pacifier. In real life there would most likely be a dog and stroller involved too, in addition to an actual baby. When we tell women to strive for balance, we’re really telling them to keep dancing as fast as they can. We are telling them that they are failing to keep it all together without asking for help.
“Balance” is in fact a telling metaphor for motherhood. Balance is the underappreciated sixth sense in our brains. Our sense of balance is active, dynamic, and takes a constant hum of processing and adjustment to achieve—yet this vital work barely registers in our conscious mind. We only notice it when our system fails and we are thrown into disequilibrium, left dizzy and unable to function. We couldn’t get out of bed to stand up straight and walk, much less work and lead productive lives, without our sense of balance. But when is the last time you thought of your vestibular system, not to mention stopping to thank heavens for the vital job it does?
This is just like the work that mothers provide: unpaid, uncounted, and invisible labor that forms the foundation of family life. If it were counted, women’s unpaid household labor would add an estimated one-third to the world’s annual economic product, more than $4 trillion.
So if our balancing act is a farce rather than a lofty goal, what should we be aiming for?
Support.
This needs to become our new ideal, our North Star, our guiding metaphor. The motherhood movement should aim for creating a real support network that involves everyone–employers, communities, men and women. We need a team approach to holding up the world, one that recognizes the contributions that all family caregivers make, a system that does not just expect us to make the pieces fit all by ourselves on an individual level. My Mojo Mom Mantra is to “make the invisible work visible and then divide it fairly.” We are still at the beginning of that first step, increasing awareness about what mothers and fathers contribute to society, through the sacrificial giving that is required to raise the next generation of children. Support and teamwork need to trickle up from the grassroots to a policy level. We can use this context to explain the motherhood movement to our supporters and skeptics alike.
I learned a lesson about support recently. I had ordered a giant beanbag chair called a Foof Cube for our home. My 7 year old knew a good thing when she saw it. Within a day of its arrival she had commandeered it for her bed, and she’s been sleeping in it every night since then. Kids are great at taking what they need.
I am also ordering another one for myself. In the meantime, I sneak into her room during the school day and sink down into the foam cube to remind myself what support feels like. I am cradled in a snug nest. I let go, and nothing falls.
I could get used to this.
PunditMom’s Mothers of Intention
One of my favorite writers is Joanne Bamberger, aka PunditMom. Last year we collaborated on the book, Courageous Parents, Confident Kids: Letting Go So You Both Can Grow, in which Joanne authored the chapter, “Becoming a Political Parent: PunditMom on Mothers Raising Their Voices Online.”
Now, I am proud to be a contributor to Joanne’s brand new book, PunditMom’s Mothers of Intention: How Women & Social Media Are Revolutionizing Politics in America. This collection brings together voices from many political women in order to get your political mojo fired up for the 2012 elections, which suddenly seem to be just around the next corner. It’s time to open our eyes and see the effects that the 2010 elections are having on our families through our statewide and national leaders. I encourage you to particularly pay attention in to what is happening in your state government. Here in North Carolina we’re seeing how a sea change in the state government can have a startling effect on the kinds of bills coming out of our state legislature–and it’s not pretty, with attempts to slash the education budget and a dozen separate bills to curtail women’s rights. Fortunately we have a strong governor who is standing up tot these proposed changes but she can’t do it alone–her veto power is crucial but it may be over-ridden by the legislature in some cases.
My contribution to PunditMom’s new book is adapted from my favorite Mojo Mom blog post of all time, Work-life balance: Our ladder is up the wrong tree, which I will talk more about later in a separate update.
Check out Joanne Bamberger’s writing on her PunditMom site and pre-order PunditMom’s Mothers of Intention: How Women & Social Media Are Revolutionizing Politics in America on Amazon.com
What’s next for Mojo Mom? Introducing DoingRightByOurKids.com
As I have written about previously, 2010 was a rough year for me, but I feel like I am getting my mojo back and I wanted to share a major step in answering the question “What’s next?” for me professionally.
You’ve seen me write about child safety issues on the MojoMom.com blog, and I have taught classes as a certified Kidpower instructor. I am very proud to announce that Kidpower Executive Director and Courageous Parents, Confident Kids contributor Irene van der Zande and I are launching a new independent research project called Doing Right by Our Kids — Protecting Child Safety at All Levels of Society.
We plan to develop this into a book, but we are starting out by launching our new website www.DoingRightbyOurKids.com which allows us start writing about these issues right now, and creating new resources for parents, educators, and other adults who work with children.
On the new website, we’ll analyze current issues related to child safety, and also share timeless safety strategies that you can start implementing now. I hope you’ll check out what Irene and I are writing about child safety and how work toward a world that is free of bullying, abuse, and other forms of violence. Our kids deserve no less! The good news it that there are clear ways to get started, and each step along the way represents real progress.
We’d love to get your comments and thoughts on these issues. I am looking for ways to capture your questions and in the short term, if you have a safety-related question you’d like to see answered in our book, you can email me at amy@mojomom.com. To be honest and realistic, I cannot promise any personal replies at this moment but you can help us shape book and make sure we address your real-life concerns. If all goes well, in the near future I will be able to share some answers regularly on the blog at DoingRightbyOurKids.com
A reminder of my upcoming training this week:
On Wednesday January 19th, I will be teaching “Safe Kids in an Uncertain World,” a workshop for parents and other caring adults, at the Montessori School of Raleigh. As the sponsor, MSR has graciously opened up this workshop to any parents who wish to attend, for no charge.
Here are the event details and RSVP information for this Wednesday’s seminar in Raleigh. Please be sure to note that this particular seminar is for Parent education, and other adults who work with kids. We talk about these issues on a different level when it’s just adults in the room, therefore we cannot accommodate children at this training.
Montessori School of Raleigh Presents
Safe Kids in an Uncertain World: A Kidpower Workshop for Parents and Teachers
Dr. Amy Tiemann, Kidpower child safety expert and award-winning author and educator, has designed this seminar to give families the skills needed to become Savvy Parents, who make abuse prevention part of their family’s education and Resourceful Kids, who are well-versed in safety skills and know when, how, and whom to ask for help.
Topics include:
· Preventing abuse, molestation, or abduction by strangers or acquaintances
· Teaching children HOW to talk to strangers
· Identifying two simple warning signs that a situation presents an increased risk for abuse
· Making Kidpower safety skills part of daily life, increasing a child’s confidence while reducing anxiety
When: Wednesday, January 19th [Note updated date]
7:00pm – 9:00pm
Where: Montessori School of RaleighThis event is free and open to the public. To register, please contact Stephanie at 919.848.1545 or sh@msr.org. Due to the nature of the discussion, we are not able to accommodate children at the seminar. Childcare will be available only for currently enrolled Montessori School of Raleigh families.
About Dr. Amy Tiemann
Dr. Amy Tiemann is an award-winning author and educator who plays a central role in today’s parenting conversation. She has helped women embrace motherhood as an opportunity for reinvention with her book Mojo Mom: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family (Gotham Books, 2009). Her writing has catapulted her MojoMom.com movement into what is now one of the most popular online parenting resources. Tiemann has written her Mojo Mom blog since 2003 and has continued to find new ways to reach out to readers online. Visitors have logged more than 125,000 downloads of her Mojo Mom Podcasts alone. A sought-after speaker and commentator, Tiemann is a frequent guest expert on parenting websites, national radio tours, magazines from Redbook to Glamour, and TV including ABC News, the CBS Early Show, and NBC’s Today Show.Tiemann combines her multiple points of view as a scientist, educator, author, and parent when she addresses child safety issues. She is a certified Kidpower instructor and is the Center Director for Kidpower North Carolina. Kidpower helps kids be successful in learning and practicing personal safety, confidence, self-protection and advocacy skills. The skills taught by Kidpower helps participants prevent or stop most bullying, molestation, assault and abduction.
Please pass this invitation along, and I hope you’ll join our great group of Raleigh-based parents! If you are not in my local area you can still visit the Kidpower’s international headquarters website for a ton of great information and resources on child safety, including Irene van der Zande’s new e-book, Bullying: What Adults Need to Know and Do to Keep Kids Safe.
Schedule an interview: Dr. Amy Tiemann is a frequent guest expert on parenting websites, national radio tours, magazines from Redbook to Glamour, and TV including ABC News, the CBS Early Show, and NBC’s Today Show. To schedule an interview, please contact her publicist Jill Dykes, jill (at) jilldykespr.com or (919) 749-8488
Mojo Mom teaches parent workshop on child safety–rescheduled Jan 19, Raleigh
Weather Alert! The ice storm in Raleigh has caused our hosts to delay this seminar. The workshop will take place next week, Wednesday January 19th.
Learning Kidpower skills can help parents worry less and lead their kids more confidently.
All parents have questions about child safety–How do I know when my child is ready to go to a playdate alone? How about a sleepover or summer camp? What does my child need to know, and what as a parent do I need to check out when it comes to choosing a babysitter, school, or camps? How do I teach my child about safety with people we know as well as “stranger safety”? How can we maximize our kids’ opportunities to explore the world freely, while staying safe?
Many of us parents have a “knowledge gap” when it comes to these issues–it’s just not a part of our general parent education the way it needs to be. If you just watch media coverage that focuses on tragedies rather than everyday successes, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way. I have been teaching parenting education seminars for about seven years now and have found that when you give parents information they can trust and act on, their anxiety goes down and confidence goes up. Since 2006 I have been teaching as an official Kidpower instructor. Kidpower’s workshops for children present the best teaching tools I have found for working directly with kids. You’ll hear more about how my work is evolving in this direction very soon, but for now I want to highlight a Parent Education seminar I am teaching in Raleigh next week, Wednesday January 12th. The talk is free and open to the public, thanks to the sponsorship of the Montessori School of Raleigh, so I hope my local readers can join us!
Here are the event details and RSVP information for next Wednesday’s seminar in Raleigh. Please be sure to note that this particular seminar is for Parent education, and other adults who work with kids. We talk about these issues on a different level when it’s just adults in the room, therefore we cannot accommodate children at this training.
Montessori School of Raleigh Presents
Safe Kids in an Uncertain World: A Kidpower Workshop for Parents and Teachers
Topics include:
· Preventing abuse, molestation, or abduction by strangers or acquaintances
· Teaching children HOW to talk to strangers
· Identifying two simple warning signs that a situation presents an increased risk for abuse
· Making Kidpower safety skills part of daily life, increasing a child’s confidence while reducing anxiety
When: Wednesday, January 19th
7:00pm – 9:00pm
Where: Montessori School of RaleighThis event is free and open to the public. To register, please contact Stephanie at 919.848.1545 or sh@msr.org. Due to the nature of the discussion, we are not able to accommodate children at the seminar. Childcare will be available only for currently enrolled Montessori School of Raleigh families.
About Dr. Amy Tiemann
Dr. Amy Tiemann is an award-winning author and educator who plays a central role in today’s parenting conversation. She has helped women embrace motherhood as an opportunity for reinvention with her book Mojo Mom: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family (Gotham Books, 2009). Her writing has catapulted her MojoMom.com movement into what is now one of the most popular online parenting resources. Tiemann has written her Mojo Mom blog since 2003 and has continued to find new ways to reach out to readers online. Visitors have logged more than 125,000 downloads of her Mojo Mom Podcasts alone. A sought-after speaker and commentator, Tiemann is a frequent guest expert on parenting websites, national radio tours, magazines from Redbook to Glamour, and TV including ABC News, the CBS Early Show, and NBC’s Today Show.Tiemann combines her multiple points of view as a scientist, educator, author, and parent when she addresses child safety issues. She is a certified Kidpower instructor and is the Center Director for Kidpower North Carolina. Kidpower helps kids be successful in learning and practicing personal safety, confidence, self-protection and advocacy skills. The skills taught by Kidpower helps participants prevent or stop most bullying, molestation, assault and abduction.
Please pass this invitation along, and I hope you’ll join our great group of Raleigh-based parents! If you are not in my local area you can still visit the Kidpower’s international headquarters website for a ton of great information and resources on child safety, including Kidpower founder Irene van der Zande’s new e-book, Bullying: What Adults Need to Know and Do to Keep Kids Safe.
Nate Berkus’ new show, debuting today–help me look for Mojo Mom appearance
As I mentioned in my last post, Nate Berkus filmed a “listening tour” roundtable at my home over the summer as part of his preparation for his new show, which debuts today nationwide.
Now as a new show in development, they couldn’t tell me exactly how and when they’d use the footage they recorded. It could possibly be a segment on the show, or used in their promos, even possibly the show opening.
Since it could show up in many different places, I thought I should ask my fans help me discover when and where it shows up. So I will gladly offer a free book to the first person who tells me they’ve seen the footage with Nate and this wonderful group of ladies show up on his show or elsewhere (for instance if Nate was on a news show talking about his show and they used the video in the background). I will send your choice of either Mojo Mom: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family, or my latest book Courageous Parents, Confident Kids: Letting Go So You Both Can Grow.
Just leave a comment here or on my Mojo Mom page on Facebook. Be as specific as you can about where you saw it–time, channel, show–so I can try to track down or be on the look out for the video myself.
Welcome new readers–check out Mojo Mom’s latest expert advice
I’ve been fortunate to participate in some great media coverage this summer–which is wonderful on the one hand, because I’ve been able to reach new readers, but difficult on the other hand, since new activity on MojoMom.com has more or less been on summer hiatus, so there are not as many new offerings here as I would like.
I am doing my best to turn that around once school starts, I hope*, but in the meantime here is a collection of the latest articles that I have appeared in as a featured expert. Many are timely for back-to-school!
How to Let Go As They Grow: An Age-By-Age Guide, by Susannah Felts, on the Better Homes and Gardens website, BHG.com
Like Riding a Bicycle: You had all sorts of hobbies and interests before you had kids. Why can’t they also be part of your life as a parent? by Amy Levin-Epstein, in Parent & Child Magazine and on Scholastic.com
Give Helicopter Parents a Break, by Adriana Barton, in Canada’s national newspaper, The Globe and Mail. I am really proud to be part of this article because I think Adriana Barton did a very thoughtful job with the research and social commentary.
*There have been some major mojo-altering events happening in my family life this summer, so I’ll be building my fall schedule one day at a time. At the same time I have some cool new ideas to work on as life permits. More details to come on what’s going on, but that is a separate blog post.
Change the way you look at strangers with Kidpower “Stranger Safety” strategies
It is time that we turn our old notions about “Stranger Danger” upside down. My second post is up on the TODAYMoms blog and I was honored to be able to share Kidpower strategies about Stranger Safety.
Read my complete TODAY Moms post, Beyond ‘stranger danger’: Real safety rules for kids
I am thrilled to be able to spread the word about Kidpower through our new book Courageous Parents, Confident Kids, featuring a chapter by Kidpower Executive Director Irene van der Zande. Kidpower personal safety training is revolutionary because it gives parents and kids new tools that will help all of us explore the world with enhanced safety and confidence. I don’t blame parents for getting stuck on “Stranger Danger”–it’s what many of us were taught as kids, even though it’s not an accurate or helpful concept. But thanks to Kidpower’s work over the past twenty years developing an excellent safety curriculum, now we have much better resources available to us. Irene has a wonderfully ambitious goal of sharing this information with everybody in the world and I am doing my part to help!
You can learn a lot more about Kidpower training and access many useful resources at the international organization’s website at www.Kidpower.org
As Irene and I were working on our TODAYMoms blog post, at the same time the latest news about the Catholic Church’s abuse scandal was unfolding at a rapid rate. It seems like the time has finally arrived to talk about abuse committed by people we know within organizations we trust. Irene and I are working on an outreach to address this very difficult but extremely important issue, and we are starting with the basic strategies and articles posted blow. The revelations of abuse and the mishandling or cover-up of abuse reports are very disturbing, but it’s important not to single out any one organization in a way that could lead us to ignore the issue in the many organizations we are part of. Organizations may be in denial about abuse for a number of reasons, even well-meaning groups who might just think “we are a close community–this could never happen here.” We as organization members and leaders have to be willing to be aware of potential abuse and speak up when necessary, no matter how uncomfortable that may be. The truth is this is an issue that every parent needs to become educated about and learn how to teach personal safety skills to every child.
This can be an intense and lengthy conversation, but to get us started, Irene shares the following strategies and Kidpower resources:
To keep young people safe from harm by making it hard for anyone in a position of trust and power to abuse this authority, everyone needs to know–
1) What is safe behavior and what is not.
This needs to be clearly defined. See article on Touch in Healthy Relationships
2) That sometimes important people have problems that cause them to do things that are unsafe. See article on Sometimes the People Kids Love Have Problems
3) That unsafe behavior, especially by an adult in charge, should NEVER have to be a secret. See article on What Kinds of Secrets are Okay to Keep and What Are Not
4) That it is NEVER the child’s fault if an adult does something unsafe.
5) How to speak up and stop unsafe behavior.
6) How to be persistent in getting the help you need.
***
These articles provide an important start, and as a trained Kidpower instructor myself, I highly recommend taking a Kidpower workshop if you can. Kidpower training is positive, success-based (not fear-based), interactive, and effective. Irene says of the workshops, “Kidpower has found in our research that people under stress tend to do what they’ve practiced rather than what they’ve been told. This is why we have children practice making wise choices in a wide variety of situations—from de-escalating confrontations with bullies, to being aware enough to leave a situation before trouble ever starts, to getting away and running for help if necessary.” Personally, I will add that a great thing about Kidpower skills is that find myself and my family using the training all the time in everyday life, especially being aware of our surroundings and what is going on. I also appreciate boundary setting skills, which often comes up with people we know in everyday life. Even as parents it is good role-modeling to show our kids that we can set boundaries with them, as we teach them to set boundaries with other people.
The Kidpower website can help you find a Kidpower center near you. And don’t forget to sign up now on MojoMom.com to receive the free digital download of our new book, Courageous Parents, Confident Kids when it is released on April 19th.
Can you help us spread the word about Kidpower? Use the “ShareThis” button below to email this article, or share a link on Twitter, Facebook, or other social networking sites.
Mojo Mom Podcast with Karen Maezen Miller
Karen Maezen Miller has described herself as an “errant mother, delinquent wife, reluctant dog walker, expert laundress, and stationmaster of the full catastrophe.” She’s a Buddhist priest–but she could also be the Mom next to you in the school carpool line.
You may already know Karen as the author of Momma Zen, and now she has a brand new book Hand Wash Cold–Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life. Her writing will help you enjoy the life you already have, which is such a wonderfully sane and comforting concept–just what all of us need in today’s over-scheduled, distracted world.
She’s my guest on this week’s Mojo Mom Podcast, so I hope you will listen in, and watch her lovely book trailer video, too. You can also learn more about Karen’s work at her newly-redesigned website, www.KarenMaezenMiller.com
Here is this week’s episode of my podcast, which is also available through the iTunes Podcast directory:
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Karen’s book trailer is one of the nicest I’ve seen. I feel better just watching it!
Top 10 Courage Boosters and
Mojo Mom Party Kit, free!
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