Scientific proof of lost mojo!

Posted by Amy Tiemann on December 15, 2010 · 2 Comments

I am a big fan of the book Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard. It was one of the first books I read in 2010 and ended up being one of the best. Moms need to manage change all the time so I highly recommend the book–for more details you can check out my full Amazon review.

But for now I am thinking of Switch because I came across an online post by Dan Heath reminding us that Self-Control is Exhaustible. Yes, that’s scientific proof that a heavy requirement for self-control in one area exhausts us in other areas. This video in Dan Heath’s Fast Company post explains this phenomenon.

For me this is a helpful reminder that what looks like laziness is often exhaustion. What a reassuring thought–one that can save us from piling on self-criticism when we are going through tough times.

So what’s the solution? For me right now I have to honor the fact that life is complicated and really tiring. That may mean it is important to curl up in bed with a good book on a Saturday afternoon or take a nap, rather than squeezing in one more activity. When I was two years into being a Mom I had accumulated a “sleep debt” that I literally had to pay back by going to bed at 9:30 every night for several months. After all I have gone through this year I am experiencing a different kind of energy debt, one that I am trying to recharge by allowing myself to rest and making sure spend a little bit of time each day doing things that are really for myself, even if it’s just playing piano for 15 minutes each day.

We all know that holiday season itself can be overstimulating, so I wish you peace as you navigate the next couple of weeks that are far from a normal time of year no matter how you slice it.

Filed under Mojo Mom · Tagged with burnout, Dan Heath, losing mojo, Switch

My Mojo…recharging and redirecting soon–I hope!

Posted by Amy Tiemann on June 21, 2010 · 3 Comments

I think this is the longest I’ve ever gone between blog posts and that doesn’t feel good! But this month I have been gobsmacked by family responsibilities. And it’s not motherhood! It’s being a caregiving daughter for my parents. I am living out one of the things I have been saying to Moms for years now: you need to find a way to make caregiving sustainable, so that it does not burn you out until you are just an empty shell. Because eldercare can be even more challenging at times that having a baby. It comes out of the blue, it’s more of a crisis and less joyful, it can be very sad, it’s a complicated maze of health care, logistics, and finances.

Right now I am trying to remember to be THANKFUL for all that is going well, and to be honest, I feel overwhelmed by what’s not going well, and all the work ahead of me. I am spending the next two weeks downsizing my father’s house in preparation for his next move. This involves catching up on tasks and decisions that should have been taken care of three to forty years ago. So it’s daunting, and it’s on my plate. But at least we still have a chance to catch up now and help my Dad move forward in a better place.

I have to go into family mode but I have already found that even though I have less time to work right now, it is important to keep my writing and professional career going in any way I can. On the one hand I have to be realistic about the fact that until we get Dad moved and settled in, I will have little time and energy for anything else. But on the other hand I have realized that totally squelching the creative part of my life would just make things a lot more depressing. So let’s just say I am in the hive right now, so even if you don’t see me or hear from me as much this summer, I am working behind the scenes to recharge, redirect and relaunch my mojo as soon as I can. You should see the results by the time school starts, and I’ll keep writing as much as I can this summer.

Know that when I write about these issues, it is not an academic exercise, it’s my life, too.

Filed under Mojo Mom · Tagged with burnout, caregiving, mojo, writing

Woke up today and my brain just froze

Posted by Amy Tiemann on June 2, 2010 · 3 Comments

Wow, I woke up today ready to head back to work after the holiday (yesterday seemed to not count somehow) and I sat down at my keyboard and just…froze. It was not really writers’ block, it just felt like coming to a full stop and not being able to start moving again. I stared at my screen for too long, clicked and read through the usual morning news sites without absorbing much, then went upstairs to read for a few minutes. I told Michael I felt paralyzed and he just said (kindly), “Sharpen the saw” (his favorite Franklin Covey mantra).

I did eventually get into gear, which looked like doing laundry and attacking ants in the kitchen–some tasks just cannot be ignored–but I have not written the epic blog post I had planned. It is swimming in my mind but I just can’t do it justice right now.

Here’s the good news: I am reading Ariel Gore‘s latest book Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness, and it turns out she may be saying what I wanted to say better than I could. She is incisive and says things that sound revolutionary because they go against the conventional wisdom but make so much sense you think, why hadn’t I seen it that way before?